My Adventures: January 2016

I know I had anxiety as a child and definitely as a teenager, but once health issues flared and were fed by the anxiety, my anxiety got worse. Although I am older now and can see it and I recognize what is going on, I don’t think I really did when I was younger, I have found things that help, but I’ve also had to come to terms with what things help and what make it worse. Sometimes, I just don’t have a clue.

I’m an introvert anyway, but when my anxiety is involved, I require a lot more down time and I can’t handle anything else being added to my plate, no matter how small.

Other things about anxiety I wish others understood and that I also try to understand are:

· It may seem irrational to you, but what I’m anxious about is very real for me.

· I never know when it’s going to hit me. And when it does, I just need you to support me.

· I’m not just blowing you off. It’s hard to make plans and just as hard to talk on the phone sometimes. It doesn’t mean I don’t desperately want to spend time and talk. I just can’t.

· Don’t give up on me when I isolate myself.

· Even when things are wonderful, I’m always waiting for something horrible to happen.

· When I’m being quiet, I’m not sad, bored, tired or whatever else they want to fill in the blank with. There’s just so much going on in my mind, sometimes I can’t keep up with what’s going on around me

· I can’t just turn it off.

· Sometimes when I’m feeling the anxiety, I have no idea why I’m anxious.

· Everything can change in less than 30 seconds. Too many people in one area, no known exits in a certain situation — the list goes on.

· For real — it’s not you, it’s me. Generalized anxiety feels like drowning all the time. Most times life in general intensifies that feeling. If I have a hard time making plans, don’t take it personally.

· When you ask, ‘Are you OK?’ you might think I don’t trust you when I say, “Yes, I’m good!” But in my mind, I think you’ll stop seeing me as a kind, funny and calm person if you knew the truth.

· Anxiety doesn’t have a ‘look.’ I don’t have to be trembling or hyperventilating to be anxious.

· I need you to reach out to me, even when I’m so anxious I’ve stopped leaving the house. I need to know someone still cares and wants to see me.

· Don’t shut me out. My anxiety may stop me from doing certain things, but just being asked to join in can sometimes make my day.

· I analyze things constantly because of anxiety. I cannot turn my brain off and it can be exhausting.

· Anxiety is not an attitude.

· It’s not your job to fix me. Please just love me the way I am.

· Most of the time you won’t know I’m having anxiety unless I tell you,

· If I’m not comfortable doing something, just let it go. Don’t try to convince me — it makes it worse.

· I’m not a flake. Sometimes anxiety stops me from doing social things. I might cancel at the last minute, but it’s never out of unfriendliness or being lazy. Know that if you need me, I’ll be there for you in any way I can.

· Please don’t tell me to just get over it or that I’m being silly.

· When I cancel plans with you it’s because I’m afraid to admit I’m a heaping mess. It has nothing to do with you… and everything to do with my panic attack.

· Keep inviting me to group things even though I usually decline. Some days I feel stronger than others, so my answer might surprise you. Be patient.

· Don’t take it personally when I don’t want to go out. My comfort zone is my home. It’s my safe place.

· When I say I can’t take on even one more thing, I really need you to understand I really just can’t.

· When I can’t do something, no one is more disappointed than me. Please try to understand that.

· Sometimes I just need to be alone. It’s not personal. I’m not mad. I don’t have some problem. I don’t just need to shake it off and do something fun. I just need to be alone so I can reset myself and breathe a little.

· I know it can seem ridiculous at time, but please, please, please just love me through it

· Give me some space, but don’t forget me