Thoughts

This may end up like a bit of rambling, but my emotions and thoughts are just flowing endlessly so I will just have to go with it.

My Grandpa Bop is going to be leaving this earth soon (much sooner than any of us would like). I started the trend of calling him Bop when I was little by calling him Boppa. Many of my cousins just called him that afterward. He is an amazing grandpa who loved us unconditionally, played with us and made us laugh and cry. Words cannot express how much I love this man and how he has impacted my life. I am the oldest grandchild on this side of the family and I feel special knowing that he got to "learn" how to be a grandpa when I came along.

Grandpa was diagnosed with cancer near the end of last year. This diagnosis has pushed us to make getting together more of a priority. (Unfortunately we all let life get in the way and this is what it took to push us toward spending time with family.) How were we to know that this would be our reality while he was so young. (Yes I have young grandparents). Thankfully we got together with him and our family that includes Jill, Whitney's and Justin's families. It was hard knowing that each time we saw him, could very well be the last time we saw him in this life. 

In March my family headed North again to get together with the family, but neither McKenna nor I were able to go. I had heartache thinking that maybe I wouldn't get to see him again. Thankfully the Lord provided me with another opportunity. At the beginning of July Mom, Chelsea, Carson, Cody and I went to see our family! We got to spend time with Jodi, Justin, Jill and Grandpa Bop. Grandpa also got to meet Cody. I got to talk to grandpa and receive one of my favorite hugs before we headed home. 

Last week was not a great health week for me. By Wednesday I was fried and could feel my body reacting to my stress and weakness. I already knew that by the weekend, I would be lucky if I could function. We got news that Grandpa was headed downhill, fast. Mom and Chelsea decided that they were going up on Friday. I was going to have the boys so they didn't have to travel. There was no way I could handle the physical strain of just traveling back and forth to Pocatello, let alone the emotional strain that this visit would be. With a lot of guilt and sadness, I decided not to go. Carson decided that he wanted to go see Grandma Jill so Mom and Chelsea took the boys. 

It was a good thing that the boys went. They provided a great distraction for Jill, Jodi and Justin. Grandpa told my mom to tell the rest of us that he loved us and good-bye. We anticipate a funeral soon, although we don't want to let him go, we want him to go quickly and peacefully, so he doesn't have to suffer anymore. 

Chelsea took pictures while they were there and was nice enough to share them with me.