I am to the point where my health problems have been going on so long that I am COMPLETELY WORN OUT! I just want to cry 80% of the time, just because I am tired. I am tired of being poked and prodded (btw, I hate needles, so it only makes it worse). I am tired of having tests done and not getting answers. I am tired of trying this drug or that drug. I am VERY tired of having my health problems run my life. I can't go on a fun vacation or even sit through a temple session. On top of all the health problems that have been going on for 10 months (that just seem to plateau and then take a plunge, but not really ever get better) the doctors have found another problem. They are sure that it has nothing to do with anything else I have been dealing with, but to me, it was just the pebble that pushes everything over the edge! It looks like I now have 2 doctor appointments next week. YUCK!
I also feel bad because even though I have met my deductible, I am just costing a fortune right now, for example last week's ER visit will cost us about $800. This has been a rough year so far for medical in my family. We have even met the family deductible!
Okay so now that I have complained and whined, I just wanted to put something that I noticed about myself on here. Let me give you a little background on the subject. A friend of mine once told me that I love 'guy movies'.
My favorite movies of all time include: Lord of the Rings, King Arthur, Prince of Persia, and Robin Hood.
Not only that, but a lot of the time when I watch my favorite movies, I watch the battle scenes and fast forward the rest. It doesn't seem strange to me that I do this, but I guess it seems strange to other people. As I was listening to my favorite scores from movies the other night, it dawned on me why I love the battle scenes.
The battle is raging and the odds seem impossible to overcome, those who are fighting for the right are trying their best, even though they know they probably won't survive, and then someone comes to the aid! This is when the music gets light and powerful and HOPE is then instilled in those already in battle. They know that there is help and that they are not alone.
This moment of hope is why I love these battle scenes. When each of us in a trial (especially for a long time), even though we are trying our best and we know that if we fight hard, we will likely come out of it, we still need hope. Whether it is a friend coming to your aid, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, having someone take your trial away from you, or somewhere finding a renewed energy this is the moment when the battle turns around and we can feel that it has turned in our favor.
My favorite movies of all time include: Lord of the Rings, King Arthur, Prince of Persia, and Robin Hood.
Not only that, but a lot of the time when I watch my favorite movies, I watch the battle scenes and fast forward the rest. It doesn't seem strange to me that I do this, but I guess it seems strange to other people. As I was listening to my favorite scores from movies the other night, it dawned on me why I love the battle scenes.
The battle is raging and the odds seem impossible to overcome, those who are fighting for the right are trying their best, even though they know they probably won't survive, and then someone comes to the aid! This is when the music gets light and powerful and HOPE is then instilled in those already in battle. They know that there is help and that they are not alone.
This moment of hope is why I love these battle scenes. When each of us in a trial (especially for a long time), even though we are trying our best and we know that if we fight hard, we will likely come out of it, we still need hope. Whether it is a friend coming to your aid, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, having someone take your trial away from you, or somewhere finding a renewed energy this is the moment when the battle turns around and we can feel that it has turned in our favor.
1 comment:
whats happening!? text me! its been to long.
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